Strategies For Managing Children’s Whims

When your child is having a tantrum it is likely that it will be very difficult for you to control your emotions. Tantrums are an emotional explosion, which children cannot control because they cannot put into words what is happening to them. You need to learn a few strategies in order to handle tantrums and understand that they aren’t as bad as they seem. 

Small children and tantrums

Tantrums seem such an unpleasant and terrible thing, but they are just a clear sign that your child needs your support and understanding more than ever. The simplest strategies are those that will help you be able to take control of the situation, make your child feel safe, and work together to improve the situation.

In young children between 1 and 4 years of age, tantrums tend to run wild because they don’t get what they want or can’t express what they feel.

In children between 1 and 2 years of age, tantrums often result from trying to communicate a basic need, but without having the language skills necessary to convey it correctly. When this happens, frustration arises and children go on an attack to demonstrate their feelings.

For older children, tantrums are a power struggle. This is between 3 and 4 years old, when they are developing their autonomy and are very aware of their needs and desires. They want to show you that they have made a decision and they want to be respected.

Manage whims by ignoring them

In this strategy you need to have a lot of eye. Ignoring tantrums doesn’t mean (in any respect) ignoring your child or ignoring the emotions he is showing you. The behavior is ignored, not the child. When your child is out of his mind, it is because he is out of control  (the frontal cortex of the brain, where decisions are made, is blocked), which is why your child will need your guidance when he is calmer. 

Give your child space

Many children when they have a tantrum need their own space to be able to calm down. You’ll just have to make sure there’s nothing around him that he can get hurt with (because when they have a tantrum they don’t think and are even capable of hurting themselves). Thus, together with your help, he will be able to control his emotions and feelings, understand them and regain self-control. Never participate in your children’s shouting or power struggle,  you need to give space and set a good example of emotional balance. Only in this way can you manage whims in a positive way, helping your child to overcome them and grow. 

Find out what your child needs

It is necessary to find out what is creating this frustration in your child, to know what led him to this extreme emotional state. This is especially necessary with 2/2 1/2 years old children who have a vocabulary of around 50 words, but cannot connect more than a couple of words at a time.

Their vocabulary is limited, but they have a great variety of thoughts, desires and needs that they try in every way to communicate. And when they fail, there is a lot of frustration. It is important to teach your children alternative ways to express what they want. How to teach to accompany words with gestures  (for example: anchor – sign of “anchor” – milk – word “milk” -). 

Sometimes what happens to your child is something more emotional, so you will need to understand what is causing his discomfort. Maybe he is afraid of the dark, he doesn’t like the presence of a person, he doesn’t want to put on the clothes you made him wear but he prefers others, etc.

Hug your child

It can be difficult for some parents to hug a child when he is having a tantrum. But it’s actually something you both need at times like this. It is  important to hug children so that they know that, despite their behavior, you are not angry. That you are by their side to make them feel better and teach them to control these emotions that disturb them so much. 

These are some ways you can handle tantrums and make your child feel that you are always by his side when he needs you.