My Son Sleeps Only On My Lap!

Many children are like that. They associate mom’s arms with calm and the time to surrender, close your eyes and sleep. A few seconds later, while we try to put them in the cradle, they wake up as if they were in a strange and annoying place: they are still looking for our contact. What to do if your child sleeps only on your lap?

For many pediatricians, a baby shouldn’t associate rest solely with mom and dad’s arms. In reality the question is controversial. Especially since it takes time, patience and a lot of love for a baby to sleep.

Is it a problem if my child is only sleeping on my lap?

Let’s start by clarifying one important thing: it’s not a problem if your baby is only sleeping on your lap if he’s under six months old. From this age on, rituals and habits acquire key importance and it is time to settle small attitudes.

If we don’t sleep with them, it would be good for them to get used to sleeping in the crib in six months. And to associate it with a space in which to wake up and fall asleep every day. This does not absolutely mean that when we pick him up, after having reassured him, we must put him back in the cradle.

Up to six months he needs security

We need to be aware that a child’s brain is not prepared until around age seven. However, we could say that the first step forward begins at the age of three. Immediately many neural networks are covered with myelin and the wiring diagram allows you to regulate sleep cycles.

So it is normal if a child wakes up several times at night. However,  the ideal is to establish fixed routines and habits as soon as possible.

• Up to six months, a baby just needs to feel safe. The only way she can do this is by feeling your warmth: in the arms of dad or mom.

• Your little one has spent nine months in your womb, protected and isolated from the outside world that will seem full of threats. Leaving him in a crib will seem like a kind of abandonment.

• Each child has his own needs. There are children who will experience the cradle as something normal and others who are more dependent, with more need for physical contact.

Don’t worry if your baby is only sleeping on your lap. It doesn’t mean that one day it will have autonomy problems. Up to six months, it will be enough for him to fall asleep well and leave him in the cradle.

Strategies for making the baby fall asleep in the crib

The most important thing is to establish habits with the baby as soon as possible. For this you need to follow these tips.

Don’t give up on affection

If we decide not to sleep with him , our child will have to get used to sleeping in the crib. It will be good for us and it will be adequate for him / her to make habits. Don’t hesitate to set the rules:

• A good bath before bed
• Feed it without forcing it too much. There is no need to argue with him during these hours if you see that he is not hungry.
• Leave him in the crib while you caress him affectionately before he falls asleep.

Let him know that you are there.

Leave a dress that smells like us

A very effective technique for the baby to get used to the crib without trauma is to leave him a dress that carries our smell. In this way we will give him security. Just leave it in the cradle and caress it to make it understand that we are there. Leave your dress under his head and be patient until he falls asleep.

Smell is one of the most developed senses in babies: it is worth taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

Don’t be too rigid and don’t despair

There are fathers and mothers who get to despair seeing that their children fall asleep only in their arms and that in the cradle they wake up and no longer fall asleep. This anxiety ends by putting yourself in your child’s shoes.

Sleep is not something that can be taught like reading. Sleep is an instinctive conduct. And during the first few months, a baby will only sleep when he feels safe, when he isn’t afraid.

Week after week, these fears will fade away. Little by little, the dependence on the parent will not be so tight. So don’t worry. Nothing happens if you take a nap with him or if he sleeps with you in your bed one night. Over time, it will reclaim its space and have a more regular sleep.