How To Control Sibling Rivalry?
Parents, at some point in their children’s growth, have to contend with sibling rivalry and mediate the conflicts that exist between them, and it is often not easy. Many wonder how to control sibling rivalry so that it does not turn into open warfare, both physical and verbal.
The brothers argue and argue with each other, it is normal. This happens especially at certain stages of their life, when they are younger or teenagers, but also when they are older.
Why do brothers fight?
Siblings quarrel and have conflicts since the birth of the second child or daughter, as the first born can often feel a sense of rejection of the brother or sister and a feeling of abandonment on the part of the parents.
With growth, conflicts will be linked to multiple reasons that will depend on each person’s personality and their interests.
But they will also depend on the characteristics of the education they receive regarding the type of relationship that needs to be developed and cultivated between siblings.
Therefore, quarrels, arguments, tantrums, jealousies and envy can have many causes, ranging from the need to be the protagonist and wanting to be the center of attention, to wanting material objects or always wanting to be right.
For whatever reason, the brothers, while spending time together, playing, sharing and defending themselves in front of others, at the same time compete and mark the territory.
And for parents it is not only complicated, but exhausting, to mediate in their wars and enmities, without ceasing to wonder how to control sibling rivalry.
How to control sibling rivalry?
There are no magic recipes, but some advice that can guide parents in this arduous search for peace and tranquility in the relationship between siblings.
- Always make them feel equally special. As absurd as it may sound, there are many everyday situations in which they feel treated differently.
- Teach them from an early age to share absolutely everything. However, at the same time teach them to borrow anything that isn’t theirs.
- Teach them to negotiate and reach agreements. They must learn to make decisions by making compromises and to respect them. They will learn the terms of the agreements they make themselves; the important thing is to dialogue.
- That they assimilate from an early age that a brother, like any other person, is not screamed, hit or pushed. On the contrary, however, permission is asked, thanks and apologies.
- Highlight positive behaviors and motivate ones that are appropriate between siblings. Also, stress the importance of a good relationship in terms of emotional support, trust, loyalty, and security, which means a strong, close relationship between siblings.
- Make sure their entertainment and play activities do not include violence, both physical and verbal. Whatever they see and consume, it must pass through your filter to assess its appropriateness, both by age and by content.
- We must avoid making comparisons between them. On the contrary, they must feel that they are unique, unrepeatable and special people, with their mistakes and flaws.
- Always listen to them, even if you know what they will tell you or know their apology for a fight. We must listen to their reasons and make sure, through dialogue, that they understand those of others, in case they are wrong.
To sum up …
We must educate by example. Brothers do not suddenly go to war if they grow up in a climate of peaceful coexistence and constant dialogue and, of course, if they do not see contradictions between words and actions in their environment.
