How To Deal With Your Child’s Bad Grades

How to deal with your child's bad grades

Receiving bad grades certainly does not please students, much less their parents. The attitude to adopt when faced with these situations is to look for errors and resolve them through cooperation.

All the work and time that children and young people devote to their education is summarized in the grade report. Unfortunately, what we find there does not always correspond to what we expect from a responsible and committed student. In this article, we offer you some tips on how to deal with your child’s bad grades.

Parents react in different ways when their children bring home bad grades.  Some envision a bleak and fatal future, as if a bad grade precludes any success for the rest of their lives.

Others, however, feel guilty of this situation. They blame themselves for not cooperating more, for not motivating their little one enough, or even for not being more strict.

In reality, no exaggeration corresponds to reality. In the most absolute way, all is not lost. Even the fact that your child has failed in school does not make you a bad parent.

It is, indeed, a troublesome situation, from which one has to get out through understanding and effort on both sides. Undoubtedly, it is not a pleasant circumstance for him either: consequently, you must guide him so that he can return to receiving good grades.

How to react to your child’s bad grades?

What has been said so far does not mean that the issue is not important or that there is nothing that needs to be corrected. Quite the contrary: it is fortunate that the warning came in time, because it is thanks to it that it is possible to build a more solid foundation for the future. So, if your child gets bad grades home, try to follow these recommendations.

1. Keep calm

As distressed and annoyed as you may feel, the irritation will get you nowhere. With screams and punishments, you will do nothing but damage the child’s self-esteem. Also, the next time she faces an exam, the pressure and fear of failure will be much stronger.

2. Do not attribute failure to his personality

A very serious mistake that many parents make is to quit with phrases such as: “You are a slacker” or “studying is not for you”. No: it is never like that, in any case.

Seeking solutions by collaborating personally is the right way to behave in the face of your child's insufficiency

What we must try to achieve is to encourage a change of mentality in the student. It is best to present this subject or school in general to him as a challenge, a test that he must pass for his own good.

If we hurt his self-love with such negative phrases, we will only discourage him. Worse consequences can also be obtained, if it continues over time: it is possible to pass from resignation or from rebellion to real learning disabilities.

3. Look for solutions

All parties involved must adopt a constructive and proactive attitude. This applies both to the pupil and to his parents and teachers. Once the problem has been identified, for which communication between the parties is productive, it is possible to establish a strategy that allows to reverse the bad results.

The cause of a bad grade could vary widely, depending on the case. It may be due to a temporary circumstance, such as lack of time to study or poor planning, or more serious problems, such as sleep disturbances, social or family problems, stress, mental exhaustion, or cognitive impairment.

4. Be self-critical

For some parents, this is something that is particularly difficult. While worrying about one’s studies is a must for any pupil, we can ask ourselves how we are collaborating in his education.

The first and most important questions we must ask ourselves are:  “What example are we setting?”. “Do we take our responsibilities or do we postpone them and try to avoid them?”.

Second: “Is there a permanent communication that allows the boy to express whatever problem he is going through?”.

Last but not least:  “Do we always try to force him to study without satisfying his needs?”. This attitude could arouse aversion in them. In fact, usually the best pupils have more permissive fathers, in this sense. In encouraging the young person’s self-discipline, trust is everything.

Screaming and punishment are not only not the right reaction to your child's bad grades, they also damage their self-esteem.

5. Collaboration

Once you have awakened an attitude in your child that allows them to take responsibility for their mistake and try to redeem themselves, it is time to work together. Ask him what he misses, what happened, what you can help him with.

He may need a fellow student to make things easier. Or they may need a teacher or private tutor, which could be you or your partner.

Your child’s bad grades are not always due to lack of commitment or goodwill. It is possible that he is giving the best of himself and that, nevertheless, he is struggling to get good grades.  It is in moments like this that you have to reach out to him to overcome himself. It will be a great life lesson for him.

In conclusion, your child’s failure is not the end of the world. Stand by his side and help him face this moment with the constancy and energy necessary to come out victorious.

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