How To Help The Little One Overcome The Absence Of The Father

Over time, the idea of ​​a family made up of mother, father, children has been inculcated in our minds. What happens when the family is not complete? What happens when the father figure fails? How to behave for the absence of the father?

If you find yourself in this situation, it is legitimate to ask yourself how to help the little one overcome the absence of the father. Here are some recommendations.

The myth of the ideal family

The concept and composition of the perfect family have long been ingrained in our society.

In fact, many people still believe that in a family where there is no father figure, children will grow up with emotional and developmental problems, while there is nothing further from reality.

A family can be united, without problems, even with an absent father figure. In general, however, the little ones will be the ones who will be most affected, feeling alone, judged, incomplete and different.

Helping your little ones to overcome the pain and sadness of this situation must be your top priority.

There are several reasons why a male figure in the family may be missing, all with different consequences for the little one. An acrimonious separation or a tragic death can separate a father from his children.

In any case it is very important that the little one knows the truth about the absence of the father, so that he can overcome it in the best way.

Why don’t you have a dad?

Explaining to your child that his father will not pick him up from school or that he will no longer be able to play with him and that he will not come back the next day or the next can be particularly difficult. Especially since the absence of a father also affects the mother figure, whether we like it or not.

Everything that afflicts a child affects us as mothers, as women.

If the father is missing because he has passed away, the main feelings that a child can have are very confused: they range from anger, to discouragement, to frustration.

If his disappearance is due to an unfriendly divorce, his absence will be intermittent, which will result in something disconcerting for the son.

In other cases, the father figure may have been non-existent since before the birth of the offspring.

A man who has not been able to shoulder his responsibilities is a bad influence on the child if we do not take the right measures in time.

Orient, guide, and above all communicate with your child to make him understand that the presence of the father is not essential.

It is not an easy task, especially if he is already at the age where he asks a thousand questions, as he grows up he will understand what is happening around him, whether it seems right or not.

Tips to help the little one overcome the absence of the father

• Your child needs support, someone they can trust and talk to. Be this person.
• Don’t let the circumstances you find yourself in make him feel inadequate or embarrassed in any way.
• Not living with his father does not turn him into a phenomenon.
• Explain that it is not his fault, tell him what happened. Often, especially in divorce cases, children tend to feel guilty about parental problems. Reiterate that separation is a consequence of some problems between adults.
• Anger and inappropriate behavior can be an expression of confused feelings about paternal absence. Explain that even if he feels frustrated, it is not okay to behave this way.

• Help him to let off steam, to eliminate from his life all the things that generate emotional discomfort. Enlist the help of professionals if you feel it is necessary.
• Forgiveness is the magic word in case your child has never known the father. Teach them not to fixate on this concept and to move on with their life.

Forgiveness will heal wounds

Remind him how much you love him and how much you care for him unconditionally. Always let him know that you are a proud mother.

A father figure is undoubtedly important, but its absence does not necessarily have to negatively affect your child’s life. If you help your child overcome this situation it will not be decisive in his life.

Grandparents and uncles may serve as examples while growing up but it will be the values ​​and teachings that you mothers will give that the character of your children.