Lack Of Authority In Parents: How To Do?
The society we live in is based on a set of rules. From an early age, the rules of behavior are taught through different methods. And many transgressions on the part of children are traced to a lack of authority in parents.
There are many frequent situations such as: raising your voice, running in public places, throwing objects on the ground continuously, which are considered serious shortcomings by children.
Culture is dynamic and so must be the authoritarian mechanisms towards the child. Do not forget that it is the new generations who are starting a journey towards positive change. Today we are talking about how to overcome the lack of authority in parents.
Lack of authority in parents and children’s behavior
Patterns of behavior and permissions to a given action are the two fundamental pillars of authority. The family always doubts what to make the child do and what not to do. Authority is often confused with the abuse of power.
First, maternal and paternal authority must be understood. Psychologists and pediatricians in line with contemporary theories suggest a respectful approach towards children. Starting from a basis of love, affection and respect, authority is transformed into an extra gift for the little ones.
In other times, authority was considered an exclusive service of the father. In this way, his arrival home translated into fear and lack of affection. Currently, not much is thought about the lack of authority on the part of parents but about the lack of communication in the family.
Positive reinforcement is always the best method. It is not a question of giving orders but of understanding the child’s feelings. Each stage of growth requires its own rules; mothers and fathers must respectfully accompany each process.
Lack of authority in parents: necessary norms and ancillary norms
Considering that today’s society is all about adults, it is difficult for a child to understand the concept of norm. For some parents, letting the baby cry all night is a form of authority. In this way they reproduce the despotic education that was given to them as children.
Child psychologists recommend establishing coexistence rules in every home. Thus, more than a lack of authority, one can speak of a lack of family contact. Children need to know that their actions will have consequences, and that they must be responsible for them.
According to this line of thinking, it is inappropriate to talk about behavioral disorders in children. Society in all its aspects must guarantee a childhood based on love. An existence in which the rules of coexistence are respected and the spaces also include children, could be a collective way of considering the issue.
Models of family coexistence
To establish cohabitation agreements with the family, the age of the child must always be considered. Likewise, every adult must carry out a profound examination of conscience and recognize the authoritarianism instilled by society since childhood.
Another proposal for respectful education is one in which the rules carry an emotional load. This is not a personal matter, but to understand the learning process of each single action. The phrase “you behaved badly” reflects the subjectivity of the action and the charge of a negative sense with respect to the norm or authority.
The rule of the game
Lack of authority in parents is questioned only from an antiquated point of view. From a playful point of view, coexistence can be thought of as a game. A game that, like everyone, has its own rules.
Using the game as a method it is clear that not knowing how to respect the rules leads to defeat. The punishment is not necessary, clearly communicate what will happen if you do not follow a rule but yes.
This new pedagogical approach conveys new forms of authority in the education of children. Parents today do not want to repeat the unpleasant experiences that could have occurred in the family in their day.
The authority of mothers and fathers is currently an accompaniment of love and respect during the raising of children. Its purpose is to help them form values and make them acquire the tools for a healthy life.
