The Middle Brother: Why Is He The Real Only Child?
The middle brother, the middle son, also called the sandwich brother . These are the names used to indicate the child born after the firstborn and before the younger one.
Does the order affect the personality of the middle brother?
In the world of psychology, there are conflicting opinions about it. Someone speaks of “middle brother syndrome”. This is the definition given to a set of symptoms presented by siblings who have this role in a family.
Others deny that there is any difference, arguing instead that middle children have behavioral manifestations.
These are personal characteristics, attitudes that even the eldest of children, the youngest or even the only child could adopt in some situations. These characteristics are not due to the fact that it is the middle brother, but to the education received and the environment in which he grew up.
What is certain is that the place occupied by the middle brother is special. In fact, you can easily see how he really is influenced by his younger brother – the first to come to the family – and by the younger – who will always be the smallest and, often, the most pampered.
What are its characteristics?
- Certainly the middle child does not feel special because he is neither the first nor the last to arrive.
- It does not belong to a single group of brothers: it passes from one to the other. It depends on the parents, if they will consider it part of the “two older ones” or the “two little ones”.
- His place among the brothers and his relationship with them are truly special. He has an older brother from whom he learns life lessons and a younger brother to play with and guide.
- Depending on the family background and the age of his siblings, the life of the middle child can be the most difficult. It could go unnoticed, between the problems of the older brother and the intensity and needs of the younger.
Typical everyday situations that the middle brother experiences
- He doesn’t feel particularly pressured by his parents.
- It is usually not the center of attention.
- He often acts as a mediator between his brothers.
- In many cases he feels sidelined by his older brother’s abilities and his younger brother’s “pranks”.
- He may feel less pampered by his parents.
- He must learn to defend himself and be heard.
- Typically, he gets clothes and toys from his older brother. This can create a “I don’t deserve anything new”, “they don’t buy anything for me” feeling. If this feeling persists, it can cause damage to his personality once he grows up.
Skills proper to the middle brother
All this allows the middle child to develop some skills early that will allow him to master his emotions perfectly. This temperament can be essential to feel better integrated in the adult world. Some of these are:
- He knows how to fight for what belongs to him and he knows how to make himself heard.
- He is a great mediator, as he trained in sibling conflicts.
- She is independent when it comes to making decisions and acting.
- He is usually open-minded and has little prejudice.
- He has negotiating skills and is able to persuade others.
- He is a strategist when it comes to solving problems.
- He knows how to control his emotions well.
- It is easy for him to adapt to different situations.
- He shares his stuff.
- He knows he’s special, even if no one tells him.
Many successful leaders in the family are middle brothers. 52% of US presidents were middle children. Other influential people like Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Madonna and the likes of Bill Gates, are all middle brothers.
What matters is the role that each brother plays in the family unit
The middle brother is unique, and it is his role among the brothers that defines his character. However, it is the education he receives at home that is the fundamental factor in the development of his personality.
Parents must pay attention to the amount of attention they devote to their children. They must offer everyone equal opportunities, encourage the talents of each of them – regardless of the order in which they were born – keep the balance, so that all of them feel loved in the same way and be given the time they need .
