You Have Made Me Stronger, But You Will Always Be My Weak One

We have said it many times: the arrival of a child changes our life. It makes us stronger, mitigates our frailties and uncertainties and nourishes us with hope and courage. But, let’s admit, the new life we ​​hold in our arms will always be our biggest weakness.

In one of his books, Gabriel García Márquez wrote that when  “a baby squeezes his father’s finger in his little fist for the first time, he has captured him forever” .  It’s true. It is something that all those who become parents experience, both naturally and through adoption.

That emotional imprint that begins with that first glance and that first caress remains etched in the heart and above all in the mind. We have already said this on more than one occasion in “We are Moms” . During the growth of the child, the brain, this fascinating organ, undergoes some changes in the way of relating. He is more attentive and secretes a greater amount of oxytocin, the hormone that regulates the need for attention, care and which in turn strengthens emotional bonds even more.

However, there is something deeper and more delicate that changes when we are parents, something that baffles us at times and that will baffle us even more as the child grows and becomes an adult. It will not matter what he does, where he will be, what work he will do, the distance that separates us or where life will take him:  we will always have a soft spot for him. 

You will always be part of me and half of my heart

Whether you have carried it within you for 9 months or not, your baby has grown day by day in your heart. Such a fact leaves its mark, leaves an emotional DNA that will accompany you forever. Nobody knows more than you how many sleepless nights you spent taking care of him. Only you know what you have given up and you know every effort made for that child you love more than yourself.

When the child is small, every day represents success and triumph.  Even if every child has his own times and rhythms, you will always keep in memory his incredible goals: the first word, the first steps, the first run, the first day of school and the first book read aloud.

All of this is life history, it is a legacy that will form your innermost structure as a person, which will sculpt your heart moment by moment, so that you realize that that child or those children will always be the true love of your life. 

You are and will be my weakness, regardless of time and distance

It is often said that a mother forgives everything. It is true, in some cases children can take the wrong paths, but parents will always feel within themselves the need to help them, to reach out to them, to offer that consoling embrace and that home that is always ready, warm and welcoming.

A mother knows that her children will always be her weak point, because she can put herself in their shoes, feel what they feel, suffer more than anyone else if they suffer, and only wish their child, who is 7, 27 or 37, be happy.

That “invisible and abstract umbilical cord” has nothing to do with the desire to control the child, to always hold him tight in such a morbid way as to be wrong. The wise, intelligent and respectful mother does everything possible to make the child feel free, mature and able to start walking his own path to build his own happiness.

We are strong to raise strong children, but our strength is sensitivity

This is undoubtedly a curious and wonderful contradiction: having a child forces us to put aside insecurities, to moderate our character, to be an example of temperance, courage and strength in order to be a source of daily inspiration for our children. However, it is precisely sensitivity more than anything else that allows us to get closer to them to better educate them. Being sensitive means:

• Being able to understand the child’s emotions and put yourself in his shoes. 
• Making love and respect our best educational weapon.

• To transform ourselves into the best of mirrors in which the child  will see  people capable of understanding him, of listening to him without judging, of guiding him without imposing, of educating him in a democratic way, without ever falling into authoritarianism or screams.

In conclusion, strength is essential to educate and raise a child because it makes them feel more valid and capable. However, we must not forget that the most important thing a child needs to grow up is the sensitivity of the parents.